“You need to love yourself before you can love someone else.” We have all heard this quote before. Everyone says that you’ll never truly love yourself if you are in a relationship. You will either change and the relationship won’t work out, or you’ll become some kind of shape-shifter and always be the person you think your significant other will want to love.
This is exactly what’s wrong with the today’s dating world. You don’t always need to love yourself first before you can love someone else. Too many people reject love because they think they’re not ready for a relationship, or they think they don’t deserved to be loved. We all deserve love. Don’t let your inner demons whisper lies that you’re not good enough. You’re worth the risk, and if someone is willing to risk it with you, then take a leap of faith.
We’ve all struggled with loving ourselves at some point in our lives, and there are many faults for this. Cheating, rejection, bulling, divorce, and many other factors make us see ourselves as worthless instead of worthy of more. I used to think that I needed to accomplish something, such as climbing a mountain, before I could see myself as a strong, independent woman. And guess what: I am strong and independent, but I had someone by my side that helped me grow into being that person. When you can’t see the good qualities about yourself, a partner should, and will, always be there to remind you of your worth. They will be there when you need to just break down and cry, and they will be there to quietly hold you for as long as you need them to.
Do you need to love someone else before you can love yourself? No, it goes both ways. Some people find that their relationships are more successful when they have taken a step back and learned to embrace their imperfections. Everyone loves differently, and we have to keep this in mind as well. But, it doesn’t make someone weak or their love less real because they have loved someone else first. Sometimes, the best relationships happen when neither person is ready or expecting to fall in love. My partner was in a similar place in life as me when we met. We’ve been able to see each other at our lowest points, but we have also been able to watch each other grow and improve. You see, growing together meant that he became a part of me while I grew, and I became a part of him. I don’t think there is a better foundation for a relationship than to be able to grow together.
For some people, falling in love with yourself can be some of the best years of your life. But, loving someone first has its benefits too. Your partner will be able to understand that you’re not perfect but love all your flaws anyway. They will see the real you, even when you can’t see the real you staring back at you in the mirror. They will help you rip down all of your walls and build a house of love in its place.
This doesn’t mean the journey will always be easy. My walls didn’t come down without a fight. But, that is also what makes loving someone else first so great – it’s not always about you. It’s about them too. Relationships teach us how to be more loving and less self-absorbed. Loving someone else gave me the chance to understand a person better than I was able to understand myself. And as a result, loving myself came easier.